Memories
by KaraAlissa
Summary: Nicole looks back on what was the best and yet worst year of her life. Why did things end so quickly? Will he ever give her an explanation? Misha Collins / OC


Disclaimer: I don't own Misha Collins... Please don't sue me. This is just a little story I wrote for my sister from another mister!

Nicole walked quickly towards the hotel. The wind in Chicago was much colder than she was used to and she pulled her coat tight around her. Everything about the day had been amazing, well almost everything. She was on the set of her favorite television show, Supernatural, she got to see episodes filmed, see her friends from the cast, seeing him was the hardest part though. Everything felt raw and painful. Misha Collins was hers at one time and she was his. She had liked him from the first moment they met.

_- - - A year ago - - -_

"_Oh excuse me." He said quickly after he bumped into her. Both parties weren't watching where they were going._

"_It's alright." Nicole answered in a daze as their eyes connected. Misha Collins stood with a smile on his face looking down at her. She couldn't even think straight for a second, she had no idea he was feeling the same way._

"_Let me make it up to you." He offered his arm to her. "M'Lady I am going to catering and I humbly ask that you join me."_

"_Your offer is accepted sir." She responded with a wide grin._

- - - - -

That seemed like a life time ago. A world away. Things had changed so much since then. She paused at a busy street and a couple passed her holding hands. She smiled but mostly she was sad and upset. She passed a small chinese restaurant on the corner and she quicky kept moving.

- - - _11 months ago - - - _

"_I'm glad you agreed to come out with me." Misha said as he pulled out her chair for her. The smell of the Chinese food was delicious._

"_Well I'm glad you finally asked me." She threw back his way. _

"_Yeah, Jensen said if I didn't he would throttle me." Misha took a seat across from her and Nicole laughed at him. _

"_Throttle you?" She asked._

"_Yeah, or he would tie me up and give me back to the Queen of England as a political prisoner."_

"_Because that would be much worse?"_

"_She might be an old lady and a Queen, but you have no idea how skilled that women is with a whip!" Nicole had to cover her mouth to stop her from the loud laugh she was trying to contain. "You like that huh? Or are you just picturing her majesty in leather and lace?" Nicole didn't cover her mouth that time, she just laughed. _

"_You're insane." She finally said and he just grinned back at her._

"_Yes, but I also love to hear you laugh."_

_- - - - -_

That was easily the best date she had ever been on. She passed a few sports fans, some event had just let out. A bunch of people where wearing jersey's but she didn't bother to see who the team was. It didn't really matter at that point. A fierce gust of wind made her face ache and she looked toward the street signs. Only a few more blocks to her hotel.

- - - _9 months ago - - -_

"_Woah!" Misha called as he skillfully grabbed Nicole's scarf. It had been blown clear off her neck by a violent gust of wind. "Well, Chicago definitely has spunk." He joked as he wrapped the scarf back around her along with both of his arms. They were walking along the Lakefront path, the water was beside them and they had an amazing few of the skyline._

"_What do you want to do tonight?" Nicole asked._

"_Hm, we could go to a game? He suggested. "The Blackhawks are playing the New Jersey Devils on the ice tonight."_

"_Yeah, I think I'd like that." Nicole answered. Misha turned her head gently towards his and kissed her softly. _

"_Then it shall be my lady."_

_- - - - -_

The city held too many memories. It seemed around every turn she could find something to tie herself to Misha. Where they had their second date, a small Italian place near the hotel, or where they had their first kiss: Adam's Park. Her whole life seemed to be tied to Chicago and for once in the last year she was happy she only had to spend one more night in Illinois before going back to California. She passed Chicago's famous "World Kitchen" and she had to stop.

- - - _7 months ago - - -_

"_What are we doing here?" Nicole asked as Misha removed her blindfold. She was in a kitchen two chefs stood smiling at her. "Where are we?" Misha laughed. _

"_We're at a place called World Kitchen where people can take classes to learn how to cook. I thought it would be something fun for the two of us." Nicole's eyes lit up. She kissed him quickly on the lips._

"_Misha thank you so much." She squealed as he helped her put on her apron. First they were taught how to make Tiara Misu, Misha's was un-eatable, but Nicoles came out great. Next up, Chicago style, deep-dish pizza, from scratch. As they were rolling the dough, Misha seized the opportunity and threw flower on his girlfriend. _

"_Oh it's on!" She said quickly retaliating. The chefs just laughed and quickly exited the kitchen, not wanting to be caught in the cross-fire. By the end they were both covered in_ _flour and laughing hysterically. Leaning on each other for support, Misha had wrapped his arms around Nicole. When the laughing finally stopped he pulled her into him, kissing her more passionately then she had ever been kissed. When he pulled away her head was swimming. _

"_I love you." He said softly. "Very much Nicole." Her eyes got watery. He had never said I love you before._

"_I love you too."_ _She responded and she knew it was exactly how she felt. The two continued to kiss._

_- - - - -_

Her hotel was just up a head and she was thankful to get out of the cold. She was even more thankful when she got to her room. Immediately picking up her phone she dialed a familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kara."

"Hey Nicole, what's up?"

"I saw him today." Nicole's voice was strained and Kara was quiet for a moment.

"What happened?" She asked finally.

"He wouldn't even look at me." She was fighting off tears.

"Hun, he just probably misses you and feels like an asshole." Kara tried to reason.

"Two weeks of not even talking to me, of ignoring my calls, and he misses me?" Nicole heard a voice in the background of Kara's phone. "Yeah. I want a man's perspective. What does Sid think?" There was some momentary chatter and a male voice got on the phone.

"I think he misses you." Sidney said seriously.

"Then why hasn't he talked to me?" She asked, a few tears falling.

"Because he probably doesn't know how to. Misha seems like a complex guy. He felt like he was rushing into something. He probably realizes now he was just being paranoid and afraid and regrets it, but he doesn't know how to talk to you."

"What the hell is wrong with men?"

"I don't have any idea what's wrong with us. I'm surprised Kara has put up with me for as long as she has."

"Give me the phone!" She heard her friend say and Kara's voice was once again the primary one she heard. "Are you alright sis?"

"I think so."

"I can fly out to Cali tomorrow if you want me to."

"No hun, you stay with Sid in Canada, eh?" Nicole said trying to smile.

"Sis, please believe me. You just need to give it time, you'll see. He'll come around."

"Thanks Kara, say good-night to Sid for me."

"I will, bye sis."

"Bye." Nicole hung up the phone and went to lay down on her bed, thinking about what Kara and Sid had said.

- - - _2 weeks ago - - -_

_Misha had been acting weird all day and Nicole couldn't put her finger on why. They were in Adams Park now, her favorite park in the city and Misha was pacing._

"_Come on Misha, what's going on." He looked at her as if he was going to say something, but he stopped and continued pacing. Finally he stopped and instead of being excited like he looked as they walked there, he looked sad._

"_Nicole, I think we need some time a part." He said quickly and Nicole felt her stomach drop. "Everything is moving too fast for me."_

"_Too fast for you?" She repeated still stunned._

"_I just don't think this is working out for the better of both of us, you understand, right?" A tear ran down his cheek and it matched the ones flowing down hers. "I'm sorry Nicole." He left the park leaving her to walk back to the hotel alone._

_- - - - -_

Similar tears were running down her cheeks again as she cried into the pillow of the hotel. She hadn't heard anything since then, except a text right after again saying he was sorry. Jensen told her he tried to go to her hotel that night, but she had already left. She took the first flight she could book back home, and she only came back because Jensen and Jared had asked her to. She still wasn't sure why, he had ignored her all day.

-knock, knock-

She looked at the door. She felt tired from crying, but she stood up anyway. The person knocked again.

"I'll be right there!" She called wiping her eyes quickly. She opened the door and her heartbeat quickened. Misha was standing in front of her.

"Can I please come in?" He asked. She was too stunned to speak, she just moved out of the way letting him in, closing the door after him. He turned to look at her and she found a small voice.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I'm here to beg your forgiveness basically." He answered honestly. "I screwed up Nicole. I screwed up so badly. It was never my intention to end things with you that night."

"Then why did you?" She asked loudly, her anger rising.

"I was scared. I was scared because I've never done well in relationships. Girls get antsy when I can't be home or they get suspicious when I work with different women, but you're so much different. You trusted me and I love you so much that I got scared." Nicole sat on the bed and he knelt in front of her so their eyes could be level. "Please tell me I haven't screwed up beyond all repair." At first she didn't know what to say. His bright eyes were shining and she could smell a faint hint of his cologne.

"I just don't understand, why did you bring me to that park in the first place?" She asked and a small smile crossed his face. He dug in his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. Her eyes widened.

"I needed to ask you something." He said seriously. "I still need to ask you something."

"Oh my God."

"Nicole I've loved you from the first moment I saw you. I know I screwed up, and I am so sorry. I was scared, but I realize that I never want to be with another person other than you." He opened the box revealing a beautiful pear cut diamond ring. "Will you marry me?" Nicole could feel tears welling up in her eyes and she smiled at him.

"Yes." She said quickly. He slipped the ring onto her finger and leaned up to kiss her.

"I promise I will make this up to you for the rest of you life." He said as he leaned his forehead against hers.

"Why don't you start now?"


End file.
